10 Feb Three steps to cultivate our relationships
Three steps to cultivate our relationships
By Dr. Damian Goldvarg
Valentine’s month is an excellent opportunity to reflect on how we cultivate our relationships. Relationships, like plants, need certain conditions to flourish. For example, they require investing time, energy, and caring. I invite you to follow me in your reading of this blog considering an important relationship.
The first step in cultivating our relationships is to assess how we are doing. It always takes “two” to dance, but if we focus on your behaviors and your part of the dance, the part that you can control, you can do something about it. Are you aware of what this person needs from you? What is the level of your commitment for this relationship to make it work? I don’t mean that it’s perfect, perfect relationships don’t exist, but do you consider that you invest in this relationship everything you can? Could you do even more? When you put some distance and see yourself interacting with this person, what do you see?
The second step, after analyzing your relationship and considering your level of commitment, is to ask yourself if there are perhaps any blind spots in that relationship. Is there a possibility that there is a difference between your intentions and your behaviors? How are you showing up in this relationship? Do you behave differently with this person compared with other relationships? How do you think this person sees you? What is it you may not be seeing?
The third step, after analyzing your level of commitment and blind spots, is to ask yourself if there is anything missing in that relationship. Do you need to add any fertilizer? Do you need to actively create opportunities for further growth and mutual learning? Are you looking for opportunities to share moments of enjoyment? Are you looking for a sense of adventure, innovation, creativity or special moments to enhance your relationship?
I invite you to consider these elements and decide to continue with the behaviors that allow you to cultivate the relationship, leave behind the ones that are not supportive, and start new ones that allow you to achieve the best possible relationship quality.
At the end of the day, the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.